part four

Part four of this glorious bastards. One second. That's a bloody [ __ ] bloody good smell. I didn't overcook the bacon. I'm watching it like a hawk and I didn't overcook it. I need a little bit of that freshly melted grease for the sandwich. I want to pour it in there. Just like that. Oh, [ __ ] hot. Hotch. HCH. That burned the [ __ ] out of me. Okay, let's be careful. Okay. So, I seem to have spilled a little bit of grease on myself while transferring it to the replica bowl, but like the bacon I cooked, at least it ain't burge. Like I'm I'm looking at it right now and I'm sitting here like, "Oh my god, I did overcook it a second time cuz I'm useless." But at least this time it's not like burnt to a crisp. Some people like their bacon a little crispy, but like me, I do not. It's [ __ ] It's whatever you two. No sense in trying to recook it. All right, that's as good as it's going to get, I guess. [ __ ] useless that I am. At least this one ain't burnt to a crisp, you know. Considering the toppings that I'm going to add to it, it really doesn't make that much of a difference. Any of that bacon grease in that separate bowl for what I'm going to do to the second half of that sandwich kind of thing. Oh my god. I seriously cannot believe. I seriously want to punch myself in the face as hard as I can and do it repeatedly because this is causing me to have an anxiety attack. So, I may end up recooking it. Thank you. So, we're going to put this on a very, very low heat. We got four pieces to recook with some country croc original. I don't want this to be overcooked like it was. I know what you're thinking, YouTube. You're like, "Isn't Cobra being a little anal about the whole thing?" Cuz we kind of expect him to be a loser and a [ __ ] up and a nobody. And the only reason why I watch him is to laugh at his videos. Yeah, I get that. Well, it's the principle of the matter. I just burned my [ __ ] leg pouring grease into a bowl. that I could have for a topping. Is it bacon? You shouldn't be able to like smack it against the plate like and make musical noise with it. To me, that's too crispy for my taste. Are going to eat it? Absolutely. Like I said in the last video, oh you [ __ ] up on it, you stupid useless piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] So then recreate the bacon so you can have the perfect food hack. Even though it's not going to be the perfect because I overcooked the fried spam. It's like critique points on my own behalf. The cobra is a stupid fat alcoholic [ __ ] who don't deserve to be alive. But by all means, by all means, even though co even though Cobra is a stupid fat alcoholic, autistic [ __ ] who don't deserve to be alive, please stay alive so everyone can laugh at you. So everyone can have something to laugh at. Cuz at least they're laughing at you. If the way I see myself makes you cry, well, I'm sorry. I'm I'm having a rough go at it and I'm trying to keep everything composure and like goosebump in a second. I'm trying to keep it together like oh you want to cook some bacon for a recipe. Well, I love bacon but that is way too crispy for my taste. If at first you don't succeed, try try again, I guess. So, pretty much ignore all the cooking video action. Well, it's too late for that. You already uploaded it. part three. Well, that'll get him talking. Let's see if we can cook the [ __ ] bacon without burning it this time. Magnificent. If it gets my fans more entertainment because we get to watch Cobra belittle himself and [ __ ] talk down to himself because we're so miserable about ourself. Cuz you know how it is when Cobra is sitting there [ __ ] tearing his [ __ ] a new one and giving himself [ __ ] because he burnt the chick the chicken or the everyone doesn't feel like that at some point. my ass like, "Oh, well, nice going, stupid. Mark. Okay, this bacon is just about done. Look. Look at it. Look at it. It's not like super burnt. Put this one back on the stove. One second. It's not exactly a punishment entirely to me entirely because it's like, oh well, you got to eat all the mistakes. You got to eat all the mistakes. Nice going, Cobra, bro. And now my entire house stinks of freshly fried bacon. And those four pieces are just about done. See, I want I don't want them getting like super crispy. They're like just enough. Just enough, you know. This will make part four. Fantastic. Well, part four is supposed to be like me plating the bacon on top of the fried spam and everything is just hunky dory. But then like I overcook the [ __ ] bacon. It's burnt as [ __ ] I'm like [ __ ] god, dude. And that causes my autism to go through the roof, you know? Like especially I'm trying to do a a cooking video for YouTube and that causes me to have a panic attack and I'm just sitting here like the spam that I cooked is a little crispy for my taste, but it's not do it's not undoable. bowl, you know, like like I can't like I'm not going to sit and recook the spam and the bacon blah blah blah 10,000 times. I'm like the spam will just have to do and like but the bacon I'm just kind of like no there's a sense of pride because I love bacon and some of you folks may be a fan of like burnt as [ __ ] bacon but like that's your that's your kick now I pour just a little bit of [ __ ] grease into the bowl for my for my top cheese you know some of it spills on my leg I'm sitting there like okay That kind of [ __ ] stung a little bit. Like, dude, I'm not a worthless piece of [ __ ] and I do deserve to be alive. I just I get a little melodramatic when I [ __ ] have a panic attack or when I [ __ ] up because I expect myself to be perfect because everyone else expects me to be perfect. And then when I'm not, they see a little piece of themselves that isn't perfect. And then they sit there and go all, you know, I can relate to Cobra instead of being like that. It's like, no, I'm going to judge Cobra for everything that he does wrong. How dare he burn the bacon? [ __ ] him. [ __ ] him. How dare Cobra burn the bacon? It's not that big of a deal. Just [ __ ] grab a couple slices more and recook it. Deep breath. All of my anxiety is melting away because my entire house smells of fried bacon. And for me, that's a relaxing smell. For me, the smell of fried bacon is like a fresh summer rain. Those two are my favorite scents. And it's just like Oh, it's not going to take me long to fry up, you know. Let's try this again. Well, I should have taken that off the pan a little bit sooner, but I was so wrapped up in like getting the cooking video, making the angles look pretty. It's like, well, [ __ ] you, Josh. I ruined the bacon again. little little crispier than I wanted it to. I'm get [ __ ] I'm getting so sick and tired of having to redo this [ __ ] I am so [ __ ] tired of this [ __ ] I know there are bigger problems around the third world and all that, but like dude, oh my god, this bacon's a little crispier than I want it to be. And I'm like, at this point, I'm just so sick and tired of recooking it and [ __ ] up on it. Like, today's just not my day for cooking bacon, dude. I'll let this cool off and take a deep breath before I lose my [ __ ] mind and pull all my [ __ ] hair out and scream and yell and beat my head into a brick wall as hard as I [ __ ] can because this is ridiculous. Well, that the extra crispy bacon that I was eating on the plate earlier, I didn't have a problem eating it because it's bacon. But like that is way too crispy for your boy. Like dude, next time I cook bacon, I got to be more attentive to that [ __ ] I think, okay, I got time to sit here and shoot the [ __ ] with the camera while it's cooking. And it's like, no, you really don't. Nice, Cobra. Really [ __ ] nice. Yeah, we're going to do a [ __ ] food hack. All right. With some bacon and some fried spam. I'm so mad right now. I want to throw this against the wall, but that's not going to solve anything. So, let's take a deep breath. It's not how crispy I wanted my bacon. They're like watching Cobra beat himself off mentally and [ __ ] up on his recipes. This is pure comedy gold on top of the fact that nobody wants to eat Cobra's [ __ ] food because it looks so disgusting. What a [ __ ] [ __ ] And then when he tries to make his homemade wine, just one more thing to laugh at him for, isn't it? Isn't it, isn't it? You know it. You know what's up. And quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of recooking this. God, dude, dude. Deep breath. That looks like considering the fact that I burnt the [ __ ] out of my fried spam all despite trying to maintain an even cook on it. I'm so [ __ ] pissed at this right now. I can't I know some folks like their bacon a little crispy and that's nothing wrong with that. But this dude trying to find that that healthy balance between crispy and unless And if I got to remake it one last time, so be it. Cuz I'd rather have it. Although it honestly it doesn't [ __ ] matter because I [ __ ] up on the on the fried spam. I overcooked that. I'm a useless piece of [ __ ] It's not overly burnt. It's just a little too crispy for my taste. I don't want to cook it again. Oh, god damn it. That is way too burnt. burnt for my taste. Nope. I got to recook it one last time. If I can't do it one last time, then I want to just delete everything about the food act. I can't cook it one last time to perfection. What am I supposed to do? I didn't know I sucked up on the fried spam. There we go. Let's try this one more time. Got a couple pieces in there. Turn the heat on low and slow. Now, just need to be a little bit more picky with it with your time this time around. At some point, I may just cut off and uh try again at my part four. Will Cobra cook the bacon away or will he [ __ ] up like he always does? Stay tuned next