Frying Pan Chaos - KingCobraJFS

[Music] If you haven't had Jimmy Dean's croissant sausage cheese and egg sandwiches, I think they're delicious. Not a sponsor. And I'm like, by themselves with that buttery, flaky, just it's got a taste texture for me that I really like. However, I think to myself, how can we make it more epic? I'm going to have to fry up some spam and some bacon. I got some thick cut cherrywood bacon and uh a little bit of maple flavored spam. And what I normally do when I put spam and bacon on a sandwich is I'll fry up the thick cut bacon with a little bit of country croc original. Yes, sir. I reckon my fans want an actual food hack that doesn't just involve me eating a salad for shock value. Like, oh, oh my god, Cobra ate a Cobb salad. You guys, never in the history have anyone seen Cobra eat a salad. That's a hardy looking salad, folks. Here's our ranch. Let's try the ranch separately first. I don't want none of that ranch going to waste. One second. Oh, no [ __ ] way. Cobra eating a salad. What is this? Some of that tricker. Grab some of that beef. I don't want to get ranch in my beard. You do realize YouTube that my dad doesn't give a [ __ ] if I go live on my YouTube channel. And I do have like an entire open can of maple spam. I'm going to cut out two fat slices for like each sandwich that I make. And I want to fry those two slices up in the bacon grease and country croc original grease. It's pretty straightforward. Slap some country croc in your pan. Fry your bacon up in that greasy goodness. And fry the spam up in that bacon and buttery spread greasy goodness. I keep my fridge as cold as my freezer so it keeps everything preserved. I am going to be stacking on like fried spam on my sandwiches with some uh Jack links jerky sticks, you know, kind of thing. And some like uh Old Chaps cheddar cheese fries, you know, the ones I'm talking about. As far as a food hack goes, it's going to be delicious. As far as filming it, it's not going to be the easiest because I don't have a phone. So, I can't just film it directly. So, I'll have to step off camera and then step back step back on camera like look what Joshy did. I'm like going through my head how this is going to play out. I'm like, I know what to do. I got I got got what I need to make this happen. You know what I'm saying? Like no idea how this is going to turn out, but I shall give it my best try. YouTube, I'm in the process of cooking some bombass food hack dankness. We got some delicious maple spam. Oh, yummy. Look at this. So, these pieces are going to get fried up. Let's put these up. One second. We want to fry that up. And then we're going to take all that spam that we fry next. Yes. One second. It's simple cooking math, YouTube. I need two pieces of thick cut bacon for each sandwich. So, if I take two regular size pieces, tear them in half, and throw on some country croc, turn the stove on, I think we can make something happen. I got these Old Trapper original style deli beef sticks. These are pretty [ __ ] tasty. But what if I were to stack them with some Furritos jalapeno cheddar sauce? These are delicious with this cheddar jalapeno sauce. Mhm. YouTube, we got some fresh cooked bacon cooking up in that pan. We got four slices. I want to flip them. Let's get them flipped over to this other side and get them cooked. Beautiful. The thing about like when I fry up bacon or spam for a sandwich is I like to let it cool off so I don't burn my fingers or burn my mouth when I add to it, you know. Cheers. Well, that's just my [ __ ] luck. Of course, I burned the [ __ ] bacon. I burnt the bacon. So, I'm going to put that in the pan to cool off. God damn it. This is not how I like my bacon. I mean, it is still bacon at the end of the day. So, [ __ ] useless YouTube. I didn't mean to cook it that [ __ ] long. And everyone can give me [ __ ] for it. I don't care. I deserve it. I was so enthusiastic. so enthusiastic to make this food hack that literally, you know what I'm saying? This is the kind of crap my fans and YouTube trolls live for watching me [ __ ] up. Like, Cobra, you belong in a group home. You can't cook. What the [ __ ] Anyways, happens to the best of us. I'm going to splash some country clock in there. Not a sponger. Then I want to throw the spam slices into that greasy goodness. And then of course I dropped the [ __ ] butter container. Well, I'm glad I didn't spill any of it. [ __ ] useless piece of [ __ ] that I am. [Music] Just because I already know for a [ __ ] fact that I burnt the [ __ ] out of the bacon, this [ __ ] food hack is already going to taste like [ __ ] So, if you want to see how I make the rest of it, drop that slice in there, then help yourself. Like I already know for a fact I already ruined the food hack because I burnt the [ __ ] out of the bacon trying to be all flashy on YouTube. And I'm like whatever, let's put the spam and that greasy goodness. Put that back on the stove. And I'm like, you know, might as well [ __ ] use it up and just own it because that's your mistake and that's part of cooking, you useless sack of [ __ ] Like, nice going, stupid. You burnt the bacon. Let's see if you can cook the spam without burning it. This will be a [ __ ] You want to make it a challenge? All this pressure to like not [ __ ] up and like make something that looks delicious and appealing. Of course, after that [ __ ] fiasco, I'm not going to be sitting here giving anybody advice on how to properly cook bacon. Like, dude, I want to [ __ ] cry. I'm sitting here trying to and my problems could be worse, but like, dude, it makes me feel self-conscious. Like here, here's the humanizing aspect of it. Like, oh great, Cobra sitting here making a stupid ass [ __ ] cooking video, food hack. Oh, this will be amazing. Let's watch him [ __ ] butcher the [ __ ] out of a goddamn sausage, egg, and Jimmy Dean croissant sandwich. And like, you know, I'm very self-conscious about myself and like I get major anxiety when I don't do do things perfect per perfect perfectionally. Go ahead and give me [ __ ] My food hack [ __ ] abilities suck. And the only reason people watch or tune in to watch my videos is to watch me [ __ ] up and then lose my temper because I [ __ ] up because that's my autism. I'm like, you know what? I want to control my autism. This is a minor setback. It happens to the best of us. I got the stove turned down low. You're useless. You're a [ __ ] stupid wanker. You're a donut sandwich. You're a loser. You're a nobody. You try to act like you're so cool because you're King Cobra, you know, and you want to show off your cooking skills, but like nobody's impressed. Like anybody can fry bacon and [ __ ] spam and butter spread and call it a meal. You're nothing special. You're just a [ __ ] stupid alcoholic who [ __ ] loves fatty food. It'll be a miracle if Cobra doesn't have diabetes by the time he's 48. Like, god damn. One second. I want to flip the spam. Here's that spam fresh off the stove. I'm going to give that a flip. Watch out. It's getting a little crispy on the other side here. I ain't got too much more time. I don't want to like burn the [ __ ] out of this either, but I'll be watching this like a hawk. It's on a lower temperature. So, we got some fried spam action. [ __ ] off. I'm sitting here like, you know, would be really [ __ ] good to put maple fried spam and bacon on a [ __ ] breakfast sandwich just to burn the [ __ ] out of the bacon and make an ass of myself. [ __ ] loser. [ __ ] loser. It's what I am. I I embrace it. Like I don't I don't want any trauma with anyone. I hate psychos. I hate the trolls. I hate myself. And I hate sickos more than I hate myself. So, I'm like, you know what? I'm just trying to live my life, you know? [ __ ] I already know the food hack's going to taste like [ __ ] cuz I burnt the bacon at this point. Only completing the [ __ ] food hack just to prove a point. But like, I finished what I started, even if I [ __ ] up on it. And you know, right now I want to hit myself repeatedly for burning the bacon, but that's not going to solve anything. That's just going to make me look like a mental case. So resist the urge. Mental wound is not healing. Nice going, Cobra. Slow clap for you. One second. Let me check on the ingredients. This is just flat out [ __ ] embarrassing. Like, okay, you know, the the spam's a little burnt on the bottom, but like I'm checking both sides of it here. Not as bad as the bacon. My [ __ ] god, dude. Like look what happens. I want to add fried spam and bacon to the sandwich. This was not part of my recipe. Burning the [ __ ] out of everything. Useless. I got it plated. I want to let this cool off a bit before I [ __ ] assemble my sandwich. And I'm like, you know what? It is what it is. I'm not letting the fried spam and the bacon go to waste. And even though the bacon's a little too crispy for my taste, I hate wasting food. Let me see what I can do. Hold up. Oh my [ __ ] god. So, check this out, YouTube. I put like four more pieces in the pan like I did last time with a little bit of country croc. going to watch these a little bit more closely so they don't burn. No sense in bitching about it if I can fix the problem. Like, well, just cook some more bacon and get over it. But I'm going to watch that bacon like a hawk and I'll get back to you when it's fully cooked. That's a bloody [ __ ] bloody good smell. I didn't overcook the bacon. I'm watching it like a hawk. And I didn't overcook it. I need a little bit of that freshly melted grease. Put the sandwich. I want to pour it in there. Just like that. Oh, [ __ ] hot. Hot. That burn the [ __ ] out of me. Okay, let's be careful. Okay. the bacon I cooked. At least it ain't burnt. At least it this one ain't burnt to a crisp. You know, I seriously want to punch myself in the face as hard as I can and do it repeatedly because this is causing me to have an anxiety attack. So, I may end up recooking it. So, we're going to put this on a very, very low heat. We got four pieces to recook with some country croc original. I don't want this to be overcooked like it was. Isn't Cobra being a little anal about the whole thing? because we kind of expect him to be a loser and a [ __ ] up and a nobody. And the only reason why we watch him is to laugh at his videos. I just burned my [ __ ] leg pouring grease into a bowl that I could have for a topping. Is it bacon? You shouldn't be able to like smack it against the plate like and make musical noise with it. To me, that's too crispy for my taste. Are going to eat it? Absolutely. [Music] if it gives my fans more entertainment because we get to watch Cobra belittle himself and [ __ ] talk down to himself cuz we're so miserable about oursel cuz you know how it is when Cobra is sitting there [ __ ] tearing his [ __ ] a new one and giving himself [ __ ] because he burnt the chick the chicken or the everyone doesn't feel like that at some point. my ass like, "Oh, well, nice going, stupid." Like, okay, this bacon is just about done. Look, look at it. Look at it. It's not like super burnt. How dare he burn the bacon? [ __ ] him. [ __ ] him. How dare Cobra burn the bacon. Well, I should have taken that off the pan a little bit sooner, but I was so wrapped up in like getting the cooking video and making the angles look pretty. It's like, well, [ __ ] you, Josh. I ruined the bacon again. Little little crispier than I wanted it to. I'm get [ __ ] I'm getting so sick and tired of having to redo this [ __ ] I am so [ __ ] tired of this [ __ ] This bacon's a little crispier than I want it to be. And like at this point, I'm just so sick and tired of recooking it and [ __ ] up on it. Like today's just not my day for cooking bacon, dude. I'll let this cool off and take a deep breath before I lose my [ __ ] mind and pull all my [ __ ] hair out and scream and yell. I think, okay, I got time to sit here and shoot the [ __ ] with the camera while it's cooking. And it's like, no, you really don't. Nice, Cobra. Really [ __ ] nice. I'm so mad right now. I want to throw this against the wall, but that's not going to solve anything. And quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of recooking this gun. God, dude. Dude, deep breath. If I got to remake it one last time, so be it. Oh, god damn it. That is way too burnt burnt for my taste. Will Cobra cook the bacon right or will he [ __ ] up like he always does cooked to perfection? They're not overly crispy. They're not overly burnt. They're at that sweet spot. I do apologize for being me melodramatic on my cooking videos. I've been super depressed and I suffer from Asberers and OCD. So, like everything has to be perfect. Now that I got it to the point, all I got to do is let the bacon cool off and it's perfectly cooked. I do apologize for my autistic spasmic activity in my last cooking videos. I'm I'm a perfectionist and I suffer from asberers on top of that. You know, like I try to make things kosher and cool for y'all, but it is what it is. If you followed the progress to this point, I've fried up some thick cut bacon and I've fried up some maple spam. And I saved the grease from the pan which I cooked the grease and the fried spam. I want to find a way to incorporate this into the recipe. And then also these as well. These are Old Trapper original deli style beef sticks. That's it. This beef jerky stick. Maybe dip it in that bacon grease a little bit. Just Oh my god. Stop it. Stop it. And I'm going to need this bacon grease. Oh, that is sludging. Good lordy. And like take that greasy unhealthy bacon laden. Oh, look at that. Hold up. Oh my god. And this jalapeno Fritos cheddar cheese. This makes great for like dip or like chips or what have you. I don't have a cell phone so I can't film all this so I you know do by the camera here. I'm going to take some bacon bits. Real bacon bits from Hormell. Maybe throw couple in there for flavor. So you see the like the grease collected from the bacon and the fried spam being hit with that cheddar jalapeno sauce and the bacon bits. Let's stir that around a little bit. Mozzarella cheese triple cheddar cheese. Oh [ __ ] Pour this little chunk right there. Goes without saying. You want to throw in some of that Frank's Red Hot Buffalo sauce. Just a couple little squirts in there. I'm going to take that bacon grease, that buttery grease, you know, all that love and just stir that around town. Then what I'm going to do is microwave this right here. All the cheese and the grease. Got the Jimmy Dean croissant sauce, jacon cheese on points. Sausage, egg, and cheese croissant sandwiches are delicious. All right, so we got our frozen sandwiches. These are delightful. If you ever see these in the grocery store, I would recommend you want to layer them stuff. Little shmear on there. Oh, this this recipe is not hard healthy, by the way. But that's what I do with the bottom bun. Just a little shmear on it both sides there. Okay, so I managed to, like I said, make some bacon here that wasn't too terrible, I guess. Had a bit of a wobbler trying to get it properly cooked, but it's all good. I think the fried spam, the fried spam. Stick it on top here. Like that. Try to give the each piece like two little And this uh may have to be microwaved for a hot minute, but it's all good. Little capful on each bottom bun here just for a little heat. We got some Andy Chaps cheddar fries. These are delightful. So, we're going to stack a couple of these. I think that's enough chips for both buns. Oh, nice. Add a nice little crunch with them jerky sticks. I may have to watch these so they don't like slide off my nuke them in the microwave. I'll microwave that those two sandwiches for like maybe two minutesoop. put it in the microwave, nuke it, and then boom, Bob's your uncle, you got sandwiches. They may have to step off camera, like make sure they don't like because if you microwave it, that [ __ ] gets all melted. It'll [ __ ] jostle around. They got to restack it and it's like cover that buffalo sauce is pretty good. I like this stuff. All right, let's set these. I might have to get set for a nuke. So, I microwaved the entire plate for like a minute and 30 in a highowered microwave. And the cheese is already starting to melt from the bottom bun. I tamalei, that's hot. So, let these little delicious baskets cool off. They smell fantastic. I'm not going to lie, this will be the second time of me recording this because the first time I recorded me trying these sandwiches, the audio wasn't very loud. Made me feel like a schmuck. But anyways, these are these are definitely delectable. extremely unhealthy. Like I can feel the grease coming off my fingertips. But the fried spam, the bacon, the jerky. See the cheese and the chipsticks. It has a decent little food hack. I might have had a little wobbler while making the bacon and this and that, but it is what it is. [Music] [Music] Hey, hey, hey. [Music] [Music]